I was in Wal-Mart the other day and there were 2 women cashiers (1 of them being mine) standing together complaining about their husbands. My first long linesthought towards the one who was not my cashier was ‘Don’t you have something better to do, like go open up another lane instead of making us wait 20 minutes in line to check out?’ My second thought was ‘Do you two realize how disrespectful and disgraceful you are sounding towards your husbands and thus yourselves?’

The one leading the conversation (who was also the one not working my line, thus distracting my cashier) proudly showed off her bare ring finger on her left hand. Apparently by not wearing her wedding ring she was getting back at her husband for all the wrong he had been doing to her. Also, apparently, after 10 years of marriage she felt she had the right to “disappear” (as she put it) for a few hours and her husband did not have the right to freak out about where she was since she did not tell him. Ummmm, maybe he just cares about you and wants to make sure you’re not dead on the side of the road somewhere. I can only imagine what her reaction would be if he were to do the same thing to her.

Of course my cashier pitched in her two cents here and there. She was getting ready to take her ring off too. She was tired of her husband treating her like she couldn’t do anything for herself even though when she first met her husband (which was while she was married to her first husband and ended up leaving him for this current one), she couldn’t do anything for herself and she had once loved him for being her strength.

And then of course you had the woman checking out in front of me who piped up, “That’s right ladies, you have to stand your ground and tell men just who you are ‘cuz if you don’t, they will just run all over you”. Can I just say……shut-up you 3 idiots!!!

One, complaining about your husband to other people does not accomplish anything. All it does is get you or keep you in a frame of mind of, well, complaining, and discontentment. From there, all you’re every going to see is the negative and all you’ll ever remember is the negative.

Two, complaining about your husband makes you sound like a discontented jerk. The only people who will have compassion for you is other discontented jerks. Misery does love company.

wife yellingThree, if you’re complaining about your husband to other people, you’re probably doing it to his face, which I’m guessing doesn’t go over so well. He may not be an angel, but you’re not exactly setting him up for husband of the year by disrespecting him all the time.

Four, I bet you didn’t complain about your husband in the first part of your marriage. He probably wasn’t an angel then (though just marriedyou probably weren’t either), yet you both chose to love each other, respect each other, give each other the benefit of the doubt. What would happen if you chose to treat him that way again? No, he wasn’t an angel then, nor is he now, but from where I’m standing in the check out line, neither are you. I bet if you were to go home and thank him for one thing, just one thing, his demeanor would change, at least for a second. And if you thanked him for two things, well now we have a show stopper here. What would happen if you made his favorite dinner? I just bet he might even do something nice for you.

Three Happy Polar Bears with Santa's and Captain's hat

You see, the whole “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine” can either be done with a positive spin, or a negative one. And yet there’s more to a marriage than that saying says. Sometimes someone needs to break the cycle of negativity and say “I’ll scratch your back even though you haven’t scratched mine in a long time.”

As for all the husbands out there, please know not all wives are like this. What goes on between my husband and me is between my husband and me. Not all of us wives get together with our girlfriends and try to outdo each other with husband horror stories. Not all of us disrespect our husbands with every word that comes out of our mouth, spewing words of hate and strife. There are some of us who genuinely love our husbands and even when we’re giving you the silent treatment for some reason or another, we still choose to respect you for the man you are, our husband. Me adn J on old bridge cute