Frustration. Any new mother has felt it. Lots of it (probably ANY mother feels it, no matter how many kids she has, but I have yet to experience that, so I’m writing just from the view point of a NEW mom). You would think all these gadgets out there designed for babies and their parents would have the capacity to decrease frustration, not add to it. For example, what new mom has the time and extra pair of hands to deal with unscrewing a screw? And yet today I found myself in that same predicament…again.
The first time found me holding a sleeping baby-read: a crying baby that was NO LONGER crying and I wanted to keep it that way. I was ready to put her in her bassinet for a nap, super gently of course so as not to wake her, then hurry to take a shower, eat lunch, do some laundry, and a number of other jobs that fall under my umbrella as “wife” and “mom”. While Georgia not only can, but prefers, sleeping with noise (there was constant noise in my cozy womb for the first 9 months of her life so silence is deafening at this stage in her life), she often startles at sudden noises, like a creaking floor. Which we have lots of and where an especially LOUD creaky board is located right next to her bassinet. So here I am, holding a sleeping baby (the phrase should be “let sleeping babies lie”, not “let sleeping dogs lie”), having to make my way to her bassinet, making sure to step over the creaking boards, place her in her bassinet without waking her, step back over the creaking boards, turn the white noise machine on, and leave the room. I finally had her monitoring system pulled out of the box, but of course not put together yet. So as the clock is ticking on just how long little miss Georgia will decide to take a nap and let me get things done, I rush to grab some batteries, shove them in the monitoring walkie talkie, creep back into the bedroom, this time just crawling over the bed to the bassinet, and put the child unit on the night stand.But as I’m putting the system together I discover…I have to unscrew the back of the unit to add batteries. Seriously? Dear maker of this monitoring system, do you see the long list of things I have to get done RIGHT NOW? I don’t have time to go get a screw driver, unscrew this tiny little screw, put batteries in, and then screw this tiny little screw back in. I just don’t. Shame on you for overestimating me.

And then today was the second scenario, only this time I was holding our little munchkin who had just been crying, but was blissfully silent after I swaddled her nice and tight (I even taped the end of the blanket so she couldn’t get out of it, which she is a professional at doing. Don’t judge) and was all ready to place her in her bassinet, turn the vibration motor on, lay down on the bed next to her (out of sight, which I discovered puts her to sleep faster than if she can see me) and rock her to sleep. The hair dryer was turned on right next to her (another wonderful gadget that may not have been designed for babies, but that none the less is part of our baby repertoire), I go to turn on the vibrator and lay her down…and the battery is dead. And guess what? This too requires the need for a screwdriver. Seriously? There needs to be something that lets me know the battery is low BEFORE I go to use it because by then, it’s too late. And please stop with the screws. So now I have to put the baby down, go get the screwdriver and new battery, come back and replace it, pick the baby back up and soothe her all over again because of course by now she has started to cry again, then put her back down in her bassinet for a nap…and start the long list of things that need to get done.

Lesson of the week? Babies and batteries don’t mix. Or maybe I should say moms and batteries don’t mix! baby-professional-19152600

Next time, I’m calling this guy to come help